affectionately yours, sarahnicolelovee...

i don’t get it.

i got what i wanted.

but i woke up today and felt horrible.

but last night was amazing.

and it was what i needed to hear.

and i know its the truth

i know him.

but i know it scares him

i just wish i wasn’t the secret.

help.

last night my stomach was so bad i couldnt move

i almost went to the hospitol.

should have.

i didnt fall asleep last night

around 830 i hear a message on the house phone

your grandpas dead

call me later

my dad left it.

i tried to sleep after that

fuuuuun

expecting my friends to be there.

nope.

one did.

the angel dealt with my crap all day.

the other…

she went with her friend and went to the movies

and played tennis

and other things.

what a true friend.

 i let her live with me and i get that.

im mad and hurt and alone.

i wish someone would just show up and hug me and say itll be okay

but its not.

and it wont be.